Books on Parenting
Gifted theologian and mother of five, Coolman offers a theological and biblical commentary on raising children. She writes: “This volume … invites readers to step into the work of parenting—and of accompanying parents—with creativity and courage, considering what might be involved in supporting, empowering, blessing, and challenging them as they live out the vocation of raising their children.” Organized to correspond to the ages and stages of child development, the book is sprinkled throughout with topics appropriate to related age levels. Coolman also locates the raising of children within the life of the church where, in numerous ways, “a life of joy, purpose, compassion and faith” is shared with them—hence making the book helpful for all who help to nurture children. The book’s current relevance is evident from the title of one of the chapters: “The Challenge of New Technology.”
In contrast to traditional so-called “biblical family models” that were formed around patriarchy and assumptions of gender-specific roles, McGowin develops a compelling theology of family rooted in the life and teachings of Jesus that recognizes that “many kinds of Christian households exist, including single adults, single-parent families, couples with no children, divorced and remarried families with stepchildren, families headed by grandparents, and more.” Rather than insisting on a particular family model, we need to see our families, in whatever form, as consisting of apprentices practicing love and learning faithfulness to Jesus together. McGowin also addresses abuse and dysfunction in family systems and in churches, and the challenge of bringing up children in a culture that promotes isolation, consumerism, addiction, and violence. She offers a vision where “families become more fully themselves as they join with others in mutual love, healing, and liberation.”
Winner of Christianity Today’s 2023 Book Award for Marriage and Family, the intention of this book is to offer a guide for discipling children. The strength of the book is probably the second part where pastor Johnson proposes numerous practical suggestions for engaging children, even breaking them down into age-appropriate chapters, covering ages from 0 to 18. Her book is not a magic formula book, but rather a call to be creatively present in the lives of children whether by parenting or by being a friend to a child in the day-to-day realities of their lives in a world that seems often out to rob our children of a lasting faith foundation. Perhaps not all the ideas presented will be welcomed by everyone at St. George’s, but there there is such a wealth of suggestions that everyone should find ideas that will work for them.
Dockrey, Karen. When a Hug Won’t Fix The Hurt (New Hope Publishers, 2000).
Dockrey offers a practical guide for parents to help children and teenagers deal with deep emotional or physical trauma. With many real life examples to illustrate her message, Dockrey encourages parents to listen carefully to their children rather than giving quick-fix advice, to take seriously their children’s feelings rather than merely telling them to “get over it,” and to model for their children healthy ways of dealing with crises. Each chapter contains these highlighted sections:
Love Note: how to express care for the child (and the family).
Child Viewpoint: help in understanding what a child may be feeling.
The Point: a short summary at the end of each chapter with key ideas to take into family life.
Bonus Resources: helpful resources for following on a particular topic.
The authors, both licensed psychologists with a wealth of experience, emphasize that a child’s maturation needs to include a parent deliberately helping the child to internalize key “life laws” so that they grow in applying self-responsibility and self-boundaries. The book’s focus is on identifying, knowing and applying ten key boundary principles. We are encouraged to understand that often what presents as a child’s outward behaviour problem may actually be a boundary problem which parents need to address. This is a book loaded with helpful examples from the various stages of the lives of children. The writers state, “Our prayer is that you will find help, information, and hope to help your children learn to say yes and when to say no to take control of their lives.”
Taking the lead from Jesus’s call to become like little children (Matthew 18:3), Mason reflects on how the various stages of the life of his daughter, Heather, has given him clues about what it means to be a child of God. He proposes that every child is a “fresh unheard of image of God” and that, by analogy, God reveals himself even through the events of the lives of our children. Mason asks, for example, “What can you learn about crying out to God from the experience of a child wailing with robust lungs in the middle of the night in an almost non-stop manner for seemingly no reason?” Or again, “Have you ever felt like a 12 year old wanting to (or even trying to) run away from home as you test the bounds of God’s love for you or your love for a God who remains persistently committed to you despite the difficulty of you being you sometimes?” While a rich resource for parents, this book is for anyone pursuing a spiritual journey with God.
Westerhoff, John H. III. Will Our Children Have Faith? revised ed. (Morehouse Publishing, 2000).
Originally published in 1976, this book has been of seminal importance in the field of Christian formation, read by thousands of seminary students and guiding many churches and denominations in their Christian education programs. Professor of Theology & Christian Nurture at Duke University, Westerhoff addresses this question—Will our children have faith?—noting the important difference between children learning about the Bible as facts and children coming to personal faith as they live out what it means to be a disciple of Jesus Christ. This work has been important for emphasizing not just the understanding of the Christian tradition, but also the development of a biblical and Christian imagination. Westerhoff was a strong proponent of using story. He writes: “storytelling needs to become a natural and central part of church life, and we must learn to tell God’s story as our story. No longer can we explain how some Israelites were one in bondage in Egypt and how God saved them. (Who cares?) Instead we need to explain how we were one oppressed in Egypt and how God liberated us.” While his views have fostered, in some places, a lack of appreciation for learning the Christian tradition, his emphasis on the personal relevance of that tradition is of abiding importance.